The 54th Deadline: Solving the Puzzle

The 54th Deadline: Life is a series of chances to achieve something by a given point. You might very well miss out on opportunities if you are not careful. However, I firmly believe that God gives us plenty of means to find our way, even if we mess up here and there. After all, life demands deadlines. Try and try again until your goals and dreams are realized. Strive to finish on a successful note with whatever you set out to do. Always.
As I talked about last week, I have been a really angry person on the inside. But I have been angry in the sense that I am mad at myself more than anything else.

After all, I firmly believe one needs to take accountability for their own mistakes. In this case, my share of errors occurred from my own doing as a whole.

It was my fault I let my mental health become twisted and confusing. It was my fault I let everything bog me down to the point where I couldn’t function as a human being, let alone make the necessary steps forward toward “recovery.” It was my fault for isolating myself, pushing away friends and family when things got tough.

Finally, and most importantly, it was my fault for being so weak-willed when only true strength and resolve would have persevered.

And thus, to be utterly irritated about everything was to be expected. At the moment, I am quite an angry person. I have to keep so many feelings bottled up that self-suppression and control has become necessary for everyday life.

But no more.

I want to convert this negative energy, this soul-sucking essence, into something worthwhile.

This in itself has been the puzzle I have been trying to solve for so many years. The solution has been understanding what the pieces are and why they need to come together again.

These pieces include: my passions, my hopes, my dreams, my personal skill-set and so forth.
This particular puzzle has been difficult for me to solve for all this time.

One :I was being stubborn, yet indecisive to look for answers.

Two: I was scared of the puzzle itself.

Being fearful of something cripples your ability to overcome anything. You can’t let things stifle you when a breakthrough is so close you can almost taste it.

This is where accepting God into my life proved valuable.

When I learned to accept the existence of God, I came to grips with everything. We are all meant to seek our respective happiness as humans.

So what is happiness for me?

Well, first off, happiness for me would be making a name for myself. I have grown weary of the thought of being that “behind the scenes” guy while everyone else is being awesome in the limelight.

Nope. That’s not who I want to be anymore. I wish to break away from that “scorekeeper mentality” and be the person putting the points on the scoreboard himself.

I need to stop being the scrub I despise so much.

Yup. Definitely. It’s time for a new change of pace.

In time, I want to have a big smile on my face to let everyone know things are finally “OK.”


2 thoughts on “The 54th Deadline: Solving the Puzzle

  1. pattidonofrio January 31, 2014 / 12:02 pm

    Thanks for sharing your struggle, you are not alone and you sound like you are on the right path….good luck!!! 🙂


  2. Jef Menguin February 6, 2014 / 8:59 pm

    God will give us plenty means of finding ways.

    Thank you.


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