Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.
Day 12’s Topic: Family.
Well, I think it’s about time I reveal some aspects in regards to why I have been so bummed out for quite a long while.
To put it bluntly, I was kicked out of my home about two months ago. The “host” family I was staying with for roughly two-and-a-half years just came to me and said I had one week to find a place and leave.
Needless to say, I was devastated. But I understood that the No. 1 reason, money, was what led to the decision. I moved in with my “host” family due to various personal reasons. All the family members and pets liked me, and we got along for a good long time. They were nice enough not to charge me rent, I always had food, shelter, electricity and every other living thing I could need, but I could tell things were starting to grow tense as time went on.
From subtle things like not being told “goodnight” in the evenings to not greeting me like I was some ghost in the household became the norm. Honestly, I should have seen it coming sooner, but by then it was all too late.
I had an OK job for my situation, not like I was making bank or anything, but income was income. Had this whole thing been solely about the money, my host family could have charged me rent and I would have gladly paid it. But it became clear that they just wanted me out of their home.
I also attribute that the family’s son, who got me to move into the household in the first place, had been unemployed the whole time while I was staying there. My friend’s bank account was bleeding dry just trying to pay for his student loan debt, and this eventually meant his parents had to pick up the slack because he wasn’t bringing in any income to counteract the bills.
I am certain that keeping up with the payments were getting too taxing, which meant it came a point where a finger had to be cut to save the hand. I was that finger. Unfortunately. Being the odd man out sucked, even though I was working and all. Rightfully so, if they had to give someone the boot, the family isn’t going to throw out the actual blood son if they had to choose between him or I.
Nonetheless, what hurt more than anything else was just the fact that, apparently, I was not seen as a family member per se, but more as an (unwanted) “roommate” in the grand scheme of things. This really hurt. Like deeply, it stunned me, left me in a daze and it began unraveling my emotions. Everything has just started to catch up to me, too. Gosh, it’s all painful in so many ways.
But I digress. I really don’t want to badmouth my “host” family for all they have done for me. I don’t want to turn this post into something trashy or mean. I am just still blue about it all, so I wanted to write it all and read it aloud for myself.
I couldn’t ask for any more extra bits of generosity from my “host” family, after all. The “host” family did take care of me, they allowed me to take part in their holiday celebrations like Thanksgiving and Christmas … Plus, I genuinely picked up all kinds of new leases on life from living with them.
However, life happens. Things change when money drives your decisions.
What happened afterward would entail me moving to a new town abruptly. When I feel comfortable talking about this all, I’ll do so in time. Without some really good friends over here, I would have been dead by now. Literally dead in the streets. Maybe. I don’t know. I have been told I can be a bit melodramatic.
All I can really say is, I have learned a lot about myself. Perhaps this all was just a blessing in disguise, as in I should be finding a silver lining in all of this, but for now I have to keep pressing forward day-by-day until I figure things out.
I haven’t spoken to my “host” family this whole time. I miss the pets I had in the house too. I want my kitties back, but I am in no position to take care of them if I can’t take care of myself adequately.
I will say that I have not had it easy by any means, and things have certainly been extremely tough for me in various regards. Oh well. I have to keep my head up and look toward finding a way out of my bind.
Until then, have a wonderful Christmas Eve, everyone. Happy holidays!
“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction