Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.
Day 26’s Topic: Being shy.
This morning while waiting for my landlord to get finished with her doctor’s appointment, I went to a bookstore and (le gasp*) read a book to pass the time. I ended up being a real cheapskate and read through many chapters of The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron.
It was actually a fascinating read, though it’s probably because the book resonated with me on a personal level. All of my life, I have been all means a shy person, but over the years I have definitely accepted the possibility of me being more than that.
Everyone likes to think they are their own individual, that they are a special snowflake in this vast universe, but I think I certainly break the mold for a traditional, and I use this term loosely, shy person.
On a typical day, I can more or less function as a regular human being. I can still carry out regular interactions and complete simple conversations necessary to get by, like ordering a cup of coffee for example.
It’s not like I am so inept with social situations that I have to send in someone to buy groceries for me or anything like that. But I will admit I find myself struggling under different social situations, with party-like atmospheres of any size being really hard for me to cope with in particular.
But as you get older, shy people like myself at the very least learn how to “imitate” proper behavior, more or less anyway. We try to chime in with better-timed jokes, we learn how to make better eye contact and we just try to correct our social defects. But sometimes we stumble and make a fool of ourselves, and yet at least we are trying.
It’s thus an everyday attempt at being normal, or whatever society classifies as the supposed gold standard every human should strive for with their social skills. It’s not like us shy people are putting up a facade or anything like that.
Like everyone else, people just want to fit in because it’s better that than to be isolated or alone. Heck, I still want to cut down on my shut-in qualities and be a bit more outgoing.
But on this same token, I don’t think I can ever stop being myself for a variety of reasons. I still think I will always end up laughing inappropriately at things I only find funny. I think I will always be randomly interested in things only I could find worthwhile or fun.
The random quirks that separate us from one another are truly wonderful in their own delightful ways. Even if I do end up seeking professional help someday to find out if I have some kind of genuine disorder to my name, such as Asperger syndrome, I don’t think I would get it treated.
It’s just who I am, for better or worse. I am the person I am today, and the person I will eventually become, because of my social discomfort/awkwardness/insert random word here.
More than anything else, I guess I am just more curious about what I am technically affected by day-to-day so I can at least classify myself as something.
But for now, a shy person will do.
“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction