Everyday NhanSense – Day 31

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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 31’s Topic: Being unemployed and bouncing back.
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Gosh, it’s already been a whole month since I started blogging again. I just enjoy blogging so much!

But yeah, I wish I was able to write this particular post sooner, but a lot of random things happened. The short version of the story was I got kicked out from where I was living two months ago, and then I ended up moving to a new town I had never been to before as an attempt to start over from scratch.

Of course, one major aspect of this move was I needed to quit my current job, which was restaurant work, so I could once again find another random job to tide me over for the start of winter.

At first, I thought I thought it would be a cinch. I came to town with a lot of gumption fueling my willpower, with the feeling that I could find a job in no time without too much of a hassle. This wasn’t about finding a professional job or anything like that. I just needed some kind of gig for survival.

With that said, I had to do the necessary steps of literally walking all over town, focusing mainly on restaurants, to ask if they were hiring, dropping off applications, calling stores and all that jazz. But for two grueling months, basically nothing turned up in my favor. Finding a job is a full-time job in itself, as they say.

Before long, I will admit I was starting to feel the ill effects of not having a job. I will throw out there that this blog’s original creation stemmed from my depression. This depression itself had a lot to do with me struggling to find my dream job as a journalist.

Let’s just say I have done this song and dance many times before, and it was by all means an ugly and disgusting performance. For a whole year and a half initially, I have to add.

You feel worthless, unwanted, a failure, a nobody, you start finding things to blame, you start to hate everything, you start hating yourself … and there’s a whole lot more to add insult to injury. Unemployment is very real. It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating to go through for the long term, let alone for just the two months I endured. It was hell. Straight up hell.

But I survived. Albeit barely. 

I had limited money coming over to this town, but I had enough to get me by for a few months. Nonetheless, I wanted to prioritize getting a random job as soon as I could. Despite me being shy as heck, no one can fault me for not trying.

I kept asking and asking around, and then I had to keep hearing the same, often robotic, “We’ll get back to you” spiel. For my luck, nothing was ever heard back.

As a college grad who needed to eat, I didn’t want to wait for a professional job.

I just wanted something to make sure I could keep up with rent each month and then some. I needed to find something to keep my bank account afloat. No way could I realistically play around with the long, extremely tedious, hiring process for a professional job with no guarantee in the end. I needed money now and fast.

The fact was … I was burning through my cash at an alarming rate, my eating habits suffered as I put more and more junk food in to appease my hunger pangs and mentally I started to think of my situation as bleaker with each passing day.

I searched around town for weeks, I kept my eyes peeled on Craigslist like a hawk to find any random position I could send an e-mail away, I waited, I kept my phone near me as I would check my inbox like a madman and there were certainly moments where I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. For some stupid reason, I couldn’t just bawl my eyes out.

Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was me just trying to be strong in a tough situation. I didn’t want to call mommy and daddy for money. I didn’t want to hit my brother up for money. I didn’t want to resort to that sort of thing at all costs. So for many challenging weeks, I endured it. I just clenched my teeth and endured every second of this torment.

It hurt. I have felt even lower than this before, believe it or not. I spent many months taking “walks” outside to clear my head for hours on end at my worst, just trying to figure out why I was letting my depression symptoms weigh me down and anchor me in place.

During my wait, I just passed the time with whatever I could. I didn’t feel like leaving my place that much because I was trying to stop spending money. I tried to watch shows or anime online, but I couldn’t enjoy much of anything when I was feeling like a jobless scrub. I played A LOT of Dota 2 to tune out the world, and let’s just say I got a lot better at the game during this span of time.

Nonetheless, patience and perseverance paid off.

Something finally panned out for me, and now I have been happily employed at a local restaurant for a week so far. I am starting at the bottom, doing everything from washing dishes, busing tables, prepping food and everything else in between. I want to move up and cook on the line at some point.

And you know what? I am perfectly content right now because this job will help me get back on my feet. Already, I have felt a lot happier about my circumstances.

I work for a nice family who are giving me all the opportunities in the world to prove that I have the right attitude and drive to be a respectable and ideal person for their business. My coworkers appreciate my effort, and I like them as well. As a plus, I love restaurants in general, and I am a cooking nerd, so we are a good fit for one another.

In addition, cooking is a great stress reliever for me, so I can at least mellow out my mood and frustrations with good, honest work. Because this restaurant has saved me from such a jam, I feel I must do my best and bust tail each and every time I step foot in this place.

Also, by no means, I am not giving up on my hopes or aspirations, but you have to do what you have to do. It was either I found something I could live off of or I would lose it all. Money is certainly a powerful motivator when push comes to shove you down the cliff. I’ll say.

Keep in mind … Even Albeit Einstein was a clerk before he became recognized as the brilliant man history remembers him for, so that’s the way I see this whole thing. Not everyone gets their “big break” right away. It’s something some of us need to accept.

This restaurant job will help provide stability and structure to my life, and then I can slowly develop my projects on the side in the meantime to shoot toward my bigger ambitions. In the meantime, I am so happy I got the job crisis out of the way. I finally got that stupid, unemployment monkey off my back.

Life, no matter how hard you try to keep me down, I will bounce back. I’m not gonna give up after getting this far now.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction


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3 thoughts on “Everyday NhanSense – Day 31

  1. pyrusic January 13, 2015 / 3:52 am

    I very strongly recommend Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. It’s a great book for anyone with even the slightest interest in the restaurant industry. Heck, I’ve only worked a few months at a fast food place and a summer making sandwiches and lattes in a food truck and I loved the book. It’s an awesome vicarious experience, sure to interest the writer in you as well.

    One thing the book did teach me is that I don’t think I’m interested in making a career as a line cook anymore, haha. From what I read, it seems like a lot of work, and seems like you don’t have too much freedom to relocate when you desire, or even take long vacations. Would you agree with that? I enjoy the work but I’m not sure I’d enjoy the lifestyle.

    That’s why I aspire to be a journalist of sorts too. I want to travel and experience exciting things, and I want to support myself through those experiences so that nothing I do is purely for fun or survival. I guess that’s the lazy side of me talking, though.

    Sorry for having hijacked your comments section every other day lately. You’re just a cool guy and I’m interested in what you have to say =) Keep it up, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nhan Fiction January 13, 2015 / 9:41 am

      Hew, no worries. I appreciate the comments. 🙂

      Like

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