Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.
Day 41’s Topic: What could have been.
I do wonder often about “what could have been” had life went the way I envisioned it would five years ago.
So what did I have in mind?
Well, the plan was simple. I was going to take the summer off. No summer job or anything. I just wanted to relax. I felt burnt out from school, my senior year at college was just constant stress from working and I felt entitled to an easy summer at home with my family.
Let’s just say I had a lot of time to play video games and watch shows on Netflix. Nothing too exciting. I was a college grad with a diploma in hand. Due to my naive nature, I thought the real world could wait.
After summer, I just wanted to fire off some resumes and start the real job search. Assuming things would fall properly into place, I just felt like in my mind I was a shoo-in for any position I would apply for, which I believe would mean the search could end in a few short months. Tops.
I applied to various positions throughout the state of Washington, focusing on all kinds of newspapers and a few other types of publications such as magazines. I tunnel visioned extremely hard on “journalism only” gigs.
And why wouldn’t I?
I was the third highest position at my college newspaper as a copy chief. The only positions higher were editor-in-chief followed by managing editor. I had experience with other editor positions, was a reporter and participated in all kinds of other types of journalism-type projects for my paper, which included page design.
By all means, I ate, breathed and slept with journalism on the mind. The only thing I wanted was just to be able to call myself a professional journalist. It didn’t matter about the money or anything like that.
At one point, I wholeheartedly trusted everything journalism as a field had to offer for the world, and I saw it as a necessary occupation. I thought I could do my part and be involved with something that has written page-after-page of the world’s history.
I wanted to be a journalist so badly that it hurt. I wanted to be a reporter, an editor … just something that had to do with the journalism industry.
And then reality came to slap me right across the face.
I only got one official interview that pertained to my field after two months of applying. Needless to say, I bombed that interview. From that point onward, my life began to unravel slowly.
I guess I will write about what happened after that failed interview (again, I should say) in due time. I think it’s probably more appropriate to talk about what I thought would happen had I been able to break into the journalism industry like I truly desired.
It would have been a slow start. Journalists DO NOT make a lot of money. At all. It’s almost pitiful really. All of the work, all of the reporting, all of the deadlines to make … well, it’s not completely unlivable, but you aren’t gonna make bank trying to pull a Clark Kent with none of the Superman on the side for the real glory.
Had things worked out, I would have just started off as some small-time reporter. My parents would have helped me move into any new town, probably buy me a car and then I would have tried to live my life on my own.
Maybe in a few years, I would have been able to find a new newspaper to work at or find myself being promoted up to some kind of higher position, like maybe an editor gig of some sort.
I wouldn’t be rich. This would have all been for the joy/horror of practicing proper journalism. The ethical kind to boot.
Who knows? I still think I would have been an awesome journalist in my own right had a newspaper given me a chance, but it’s hard to say now. The fire, the passion for the field, isn’t the same anymore. I feel like I have fallen out of love with journalism and its entirety.
It’s funny how life can take you into a different direction pretty quickly. In a way, I do believe in that expression that everything happens for a reason.
It’s like life is telling me it’s OK I am not a journalist now. It’s like … just maybe … I am supposed to be something even grander on a bigger scale?
Destiny, show me a sign! Pretty please?!
“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction