Everyday NhanSense – Day 57

Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 57’s Topic: Appeasing your “other” side.
There are days where I simply feel like a conflicted person, at least when it comes to satisfying all my goals and ambitions. I want to look for the silver lining when things get bleak. I want to find reasons to be happy in life.

There are lots of elements to want, but I don’t know if I can get all of them appeased. My “other” side is very demanding, as you can see.

Then again, don’t we all have our own other side who is always hounding each and every single one of us, respectively?

Is it not uncommon?

A few years back, I really wanted to land my dream job in journalism. Because I wanted it so badly, the horrible depression took over. And because the depression took over, I became knocked out of commission for a long while.

I do believe it was because I wanted to appease that certain side to me. Rightfully so, that other me just wanted big things.

A swell job you could go around to brag to others.

The satisfaction of knowing my ultimate goal in college, of being a journalist, was going to come to reality.

And so on. And so on.

Of course, the short version of the story is … it didn’t happen like that at all. Almost tragic in itself, everything just came crashing down. The whole house of cards scattered everywhere, and I was left to play 52 Pickup.

Not fun at all, I have to say. But that’s how that series of events turned out.

What can I say? The other me demands a lot. That’s a fact.

With all of that said, it makes me wonder if my other side can ever be content with what happens throughout my life, as in if I will ever sate its thirst for the finer things. Don’t get me wrong. People should strive for the top no matter what. Why settle for less if you don’t have to?

It’s just that I wonder if I can ever accomplish enough to stop the other me from wanting so much. There’s only so much I can do at a given time before I might as well wish I had a jetpack and my own personal island to call my own.

There are dreams, and then there are just fantasies.

I will admit, however, that I do find myself caught in the trap of wanting the latter so much. I guess a life filled with poverty here and there and always wishing I had more will do that to a person. Unfortunately.

Someday, I’ll figure out how to make the other me truly and completely happy with what I have to my name. Someday.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction


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