Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.
Day 74’s Topic: The other “you” in life.
Compared to yesterday, I was much calmer by comparison.
There are days I swear I have another “me” just trying to get loose. Whether it’s a figment of my imagination or it’s just how I feel when I need to entertain myself upstairs, I honestly don’t have a clue.
But seriously, today felt way different in a good way. I was less frustrated, more in-tune with what I was doing and more aware of dialing back the bad feelings whenever they came up. Sure, I’ll admit I may have been a tad sluggish than usual, but you can’t have it all sometimes.
Nonetheless, the other “me” always wants to find fault with whatever I am doing and attempt to rationalize emotions that are basically toxic and dangerous if they were allowed to fester.
But you know what? They shouldn’t matter if I just brush them aside, stay mellow and allow myself to do what needs to be done to be productive.
Everyone, mood swings or not, has to deal with a myriad of emotions and feelings on a daily basis. Though my mood swings can prove random and difficult to predict, I manage by trying to keep the attention fixated on that spot of zen on the spectrum. When I achieve a sense of personal enlightenment, life can feel good.
However, it’s of course not always easy to find that right spot, and so we all come across situations where we may miss the mark at times.
This is why I think the other “me” pops up a lot. I feel an urge to see the world in a different light, which prompts a mixed bag of inner confusion.
Someone bumps into me, for instance. The nice guy in me takes no offense to it and then avoids confrontation. The other “me” may very well take it all too personal and wants to seek some kind of “revenge.”
I kid you not … I have had a lot of situations throughout my life where I took things the wrong way, for better or worse, because I guess part of me doesn’t interpret regular circumstances like a normal human being. Or at least, this is what I think.
In time, I hope to figure out more about myself. Especially upstairs.
For now, I’m just trying to merge all elements of my psyche together into one cohesive unit. I’ve got a life to live.
“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction