Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.
Day 77’s Topic: Trust.
Over the years, the list of people I truly trust with all my heart certainly has dwindled in number.
A lot of it has to do with me creating trust issues with others, seeing that I have been quite problematic, unstable and downright infuriating as a person to deal with on a personal level.
But I digress.
I can easily say this tidbit about myself these days. I was a messed-up person when I started this journey a few years ago, which led to the creation of this blog. Never had I envisioned this blog to be anything more than something I happened to write on here and there, but perhaps one day I can look back at this blog and see it as something more.
A beginning for figuring out what the heck is wrong with me, while also being a means of remedying me from my troubles.
Through this blog, I hope to establish new trust with others who need that certain someone to guide them through their own respective darkness and uncertainty. I have been through my own share of demons, haunting me throughout various years.
I have had nightmares over them. I have had times where I didn’t know what would happen next. I ran away from my problems. I hid away from the people who still wanted to care about me when I was basically destroying myself.
This five-letter word means a lot to me. Again, over the years, I have had to cross people off the list. For a variety of reasons, I know a lot of it has to do with me being me.
I was a mess. A complete and utter mess. Over time, it would be no surprise how people had to turn their back on me. Looking back at it from their perspective, I probably would as well.
Why should I bother sticking around to help Nhan if he couldn’t help himself?
At the very least, I can say I have some great friends and important individuals in my life who trust me enough to stick with me through thick and thin. Otherwise, I would definitely be in a much worse spot than I am right now.
Things aren’t quite perfect, sometimes not even that peachy, but I can manage it.
I have a place to sleep, heat when it gets cold, food to eat, a job to earn money to save up in the bank and a whole lot more … All of which was because others established trust with me to give me the courage to keep pressing onward, no matter how bleak everything seemed.
My ultimate hope, after all, is to trust others again. And of course, I can’t expect to do this if I can’t get other souls to trust me with confidence. It goes both ways. It’s a matter of establishing a mutual connection.
“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction