Everyday NhanSense – Day 91

animegirl1
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Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 91’s Topic: Being the center of attention.
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Being a shy person usually means a lot of time spent hiding from the limelight, like it’s something I should be wary of because it’s gonna melt my skin off from its intensity. But in all honesty, I have developed a taste for the limelight to some degree over the years.

I like being the center of the attention in certain instances. Don’t get me wrong. I feel like I probably turn bright red when too many eyes are on me, but small batches of this kind of attention does a lot of wonder for my self-esteem.

Growing up, I was always incredibly shy about a lot of things, so sticking out was something I really avoided doing when I could. I was always someone who hated raising his hand up in class to chime in, for example, and I absolutely dreaded doing presentations in front of everyone.

But the people who are able to show the outgoing, confident side of them can demonstrate that charisma without fear of judgment.

There are days I wish I could be just like this when I need it most.

Alas, it’s an elusive trait for me, as social anxiety often trumps any notion of me being 100 percent free from all forms of that paralyzing phobia. The thought of me messing up somehow and making myself look like a total doofus (in my mind anyway) always crops up. I wish I could avoid it, I wish I could disregard it and do what needs to be done, but I always find myself being too scared of it.

But that’s social anxiety for you.

However, the allure of being that person everyone has their eyes on does intrigue me. What I like most about it is that sense of respect, that moment of awe, people project your way because of you being you.

At the end of the day, I want this kind of admiration on some level. I don’t necessarily want to be super popular out of the blue, but knowing that certain individuals in your circle like you enough to think the world of you is plenty awesome in itself.

“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction


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