The 54th Deadline: For every success, for every botch, life will always give you many opportunities.
I have been a horrible coward for far too long.
The fact is, a large reason why this very blog exists stems from a lot of fear and insecurity. I didn’t know, at least at the time, how to face my fears when they showed themselves before me.
Bit by bit, I let all of the bad stuff happen to me. One meltdown after another. Each inner struggle manifested into something worse, eventually piling up into a mountain of personal problems.
And as a result, I have to be somewhat understanding. Without all of that, this blog wouldn’t have been so elaborate, so detailed and so filled with various thoughts and ideas floating around from my mind.
Fear is powerful, after all. One should never underestimate it.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I was Mr. Courageous prior to this blog. If anything, I was always leaning toward the meek side. I didn’t like conflict or confrontations. I wanted to stay inside of my own bubble and let the world pass me by, or at least this was the “old” me.
Without the security of said bubble, I was a hapless, ridiculously weak individual who was left to fend for himself for the first time in his dang life.
I was scared. Terrified. Use every single synonym for fear. I experienced them all.
But above all else, the fear consumed me, and it’s been quite a challenging journey to get it all back.
Want to know why?
It’s because I have been so fearful about letting it all happen again. I want to avoid feeling like I don’t exist, let alone matter, to anyone in this world.
I have so much ambition, so many dreams left to fulfill and so many things I desire that letting it all end right here and now would be such a pity.
To face fear means to be mindful of it. You can’t just pretend it isn’t there. It’s courage in action to do what needs to be done despite of fear trying to interfere.
For the love of God, let me brave enough to keep going forward.
“Remember the name.” – Nhan Fiction