The 54th Deadline: For every success, for every botch, life will always give you many opportunities.
The past few weeks have stirred up further frustration about my whole “life” situation and all. On the plus side, things have improved by a lot. I am by all means in a better spot than I was a few years ago. I am not rich, but I can more or less take care of myself to a decent degree.
But on the other side of the coin, part of me is horribly discontent with the current state. I feel like I want more than what I currently have to my name, and I have just grown quite impatient with waiting and waiting for something more noteworthy to pop up.
Regardless, I have to stay on this course. Deep down, I know it’s the correct move.
There is no buried treasure I can unearth in the yard to fix my financial problems. There is no magic lamp I can rub to call up something to wish away all of my pain and troubles. I have to tough it out, as aggravating and taxing as it may be, until I can advance to the next stage in this long-winded “recovery” plan I have forced myself to undergo for a while now.
A lot of this has made me realize how much I have changed over the years. For the most part, this has been a good thing. I guess I wasn’t too aware of how one-dimensional I was.
I tunnel visioned hard on just becoming a journalist, and yet here I am going down a completely different path. Then again, it’s pretty normal for a lot of people.
Events occur. Plans change. You must adapt. It’s that simple.
For me, adapting was something I put off for literally years until I found myself at the end of my rope. It was do or die, and I didn’t want to go with the latter. I had so much I wanted to live for, and I didn’t want to hit the game over screen in life.
I have gone from being a drained soul to someone now trying to make an ongoing comeback. I want to feel rejuvenated. I want to feel like I am truly, truly living.
However, I know that I still have a ways to go before that can happen.
If I had to describe myself, a fully rejuvenated soul would be an inferno of passion, but I am perhaps just a campfire with some signs of life. Like, you can probably see some flames flickering around, but nothing too substantial has been emitted. At least not yet.
As a result, the only logical thing to do is to keep trying to find things to feed this fire that’s been brewing inside me. I want to keep the flames alive, so I cannot slow down now.
When everything is said and done, I want to EXPLODE onto the scene.
“RTN – REMEMBER THE NAME” – Nhan Fiction