The 54th Deadline: Time sure flies by fast. A lot quicker than a lot of people may realize. Poof.
I feel like the gap between blog posts has grown gradually wider and wider, in a bad way, of course.
At the end of the day, this blog does in fact remain very important to me. It’s high up on the list of priorities, but I still find myself basically neglecting it as I try to handle the day-to-day operations of, well, surviving.
I used to blog a lot more often. All of the time, for that matter. I didn’t care at first who read what I wrote. I am sure I have had my share of ramblings, but I have also had a lot of blog posts I genuinely enjoyed putting together. It wasn’t about the viewership or anything like that in the beginning. I just wanted an outlet, just something to release some of the excess feelings out and it did help. It really helped a lot.
Still, time has flown by to this day. It’s been a blur. Everything has just felt like it all happened all too fast for me to notice.
Heck, a year ago to this point, I just moved into the place I am living now for literally no more than a few days. That was a very scary time for a lot of reasons.
Unsure of what I was going to do.
Limited money in the bank.
Didn’t know many people in town.
It was just me starting a new chapter in my life.
Fast-forward to nowadays, and a lot of things are heading in the right direction.
Have a car.
Got a cat as a pet.
Somewhat more stability in terms of finances. I am not rich by any means, but I at least have some cash to spend on extra stuff beyond the necessities.
I am certainly missing a lot of random things that would be nice, but I constantly tell myself that everything will come in due time. At least, I hope that’s the case. One can only wait for so long.
This blur-like pace that life makes you undergo really makes you think: time definitely is precious.
Believe me. As someone who can barely keep up with the now, it’s a wondrous idea to fathom making every second count. Sure, in a fantasy world perhaps, but obligations exist in reality. I can’t just not work for the sake of it. I need to hold a job down to pay the bills and make sure I don’t starve.
From this standpoint, things are more than fine. I survive, but I never thrive. And I really want to make the latter more prevalent.
When I was younger, I am talking like when I was nearing the end of high school, I was too naive about how life was going to unfold. I just thought I could make everything line up the way I wanted by just going to college afterward.
I’d get that sweet job, make a decent buck or two and then be on my way for doing all the typical grownup stuff we keep hearing about tirelessly.
Get a job.
Buy a house.
Blah, blah and blah.
Don’t get me wrong. I personally want to do a lot of this stuff and more, but a lot of the platitudes and random bits of wisdom don’t mean a hill of beans when life throws a curveball your way that you don’t expect.
It wasn’t like life gave a crap about whether or not I wanted a do-over. Nope. No way.
Not a chance.
Instead, life made me experience the pain of losing in a variety of ways. The actual depression of feeling like you’re a loser hurts to no end.
So perhaps, as I contemplate it more and more, it’s why I continue to take part in this blur in life.
It’s not like I can skip past the next steps ahead to see if I win in the end. It’s why games are not played on paper. You have to play them out.
And I intend to.
“RTN – REMEMBER THE NAME!” – Nhan Fiction