“There comes a point where trying to follow the linear path is not nearly quick enough.”
I am a mess. I have grown completely weary of trying to do things the old-fashioned way. What can I say? It has been five years and counting. After a while, it all makes me wonder what I am doing with my life. It sucks because we all should hope for happiness, whatever that may respectively be for all of us.
My idea of happiness would be attaining “success” in all of its glory. And yes, to wish for a shortcut now in this stage of the game may come off as a bit of impatience, but again… It’s been five years and counting. I don’t expect the world to throw me a bone my way after waiting this long, nor should I anticipate such a gesture. That would be foolish.
Instead, I need to think of practical ways of expediting this whole process within my power. Quite frankly, I can’t keep living like this. Well, I mean this in the sense that just gradually crawling toward my destination of the future is aggravating. I am annoyed at how long it is all taking, I am truly vexed in my own shortcomings as an individual and above all else…
I just want to make this all work. I want to be a better person. I want to be deemed a great person who has been through so much, who faced the personal brink of destruction and overcame it all to pull off something wonderful.
I should not expect to wake up tomorrow, and then boom… Success! This is not how it works. I do not want to be caught in a fantasy world all of the time. I know we need to visualize what we want at times, but there are just so many things going on in my life right now.
This paycheck-to-paycheck existence gets to me. I make just enough to survive, but never thriving irks me. I know I should not fuss so much about money, but funds in the bank account matter when you want to indulge.
For instance, do you know what I would really like to do now?