The 54th Deadline: Ingredients

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“More often than not, the necessary ingredients are right in front of you.”

The last time I talked about seeking a recipe for life itself, I started to realize how many resources I truly had to my name.

I have a job to call my own, which means I have money coming in to take care of things. And with this money, independence has become possible. I have gradually become a lot more self-reliant in the past few years, which is a huge difference versus being a sponge at home when I was living unemployed with my parents and whatnot.

But most importantly of all, I still have the option to pursue the next stage in life. That particularly elusive stage that I have been desiring for so long now. I dream about it. I ponder about what I need to do and what I have done wrong so far.

In more ways than one, it consumes me. It eats away at me and fills me up with a ton of guilt that I have not figured it all out yet. It has become a daily challenge of fighting off the sense of “shame” or whatever you want to call it, but its influence definitely gets to me.

I just find myself cycling over and over again, as if something is causing me to loop.

I make some sort of progress. I move two steps forward, and then I get yanked right back like life itself is toying with me. As a result, I can’t help but feel stuck. I hate dragging my heels for so long when I should have already been on my way toward where I need to be.

This much is true. It is evident in how I keep going back to the same checkpoint I have already been to over and over again, as if everything just repeats and replays itself to torture me.

I had a premonition of sorts tonight. I was literally about to sit down to play video games for a few hours before I opted to write this blog post out instead. I just came to realize that I have had more than enough time to add toward what I have already started long ago.

I could either just play some games or blog. I am glad I am opting for the latter. Instead of just killing time when I feel lazy or unmotivated, I should be utilizing it. I should force myself if I really need to…

The building blocks are there. The ingredients have been laid right in front of me.

I just have not been very good about putting it all together.

An egg is just an egg, right? Well, the same egg can become a tasty and scrumptious scrambled egg when you work your magic with it.

Lots of things don’t become anything until something happens to it.

With this same logic, I can’t be anything unless I act as my own catalyst toward literally transforming myself into something much more…

It is just the nature of cooking, in general, to be 100 percent honest.

Continue reading

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The 54th Deadline: Recipe

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I wish life was more obvious about what steps I should take for the next phase in this ongoing process. I have a ways to go before I have the finished product that I want.

In many respects, I am someone who is seeking life’s recipes.

Just like how cooking saved my life years ago, it’s time I figured out the right kind of steps I need to take for the next phase. We follow recipes because we expect a certain result to happen if we carry out a particular sequence of steps to a T.

If it’s a winning formula, why not?

We need direction. We need guidance. We all need some form of a hint as to what we should get done and how we should go about it.

Otherwise, you never know what will happen. Surprises, sometimes anyway, can be devastating.

I know firsthand in more ways than one.

A lot of this blog’s existence does stem from a lot of highs and lows, or more like a constant accumulation of new ones to sort out. It took a lot of trial-and-error scenarios before I started to get back (somewhat) on track.

For me, I was a lost soul in so many regards. I had no inkling of where to go, what to do and I was on the verge of shutting down completely.

The process has been grueling. The personal challenges have tested my willpower and resolve. At the end of the day, I survive, but I never thrive because I just always feel like I am barely getting through it all.

It would be wonderful if I could get the end result that I truly desire: an attainment of what I would call “success” and all its glory. I want to be successful because I think we all should strive for our individual potential. Why underachieve? Why settle for less?

If there is something I hold dear to my heart, it’s the notion that hard work (eventually) pays off at some point. I will never ever change my mind about this.

I recall me thinking this even when I was just a kid in grade school. I still remember the other kids who clearly had no direction in life, no target to aim for in the long haul and I didn’t want to get sucked into that way of thinking. I did not want to adopt a crappy attitude, if you have to label it as something.

Yes, it’s a bad attitude to have by all means. People who don’t have the right mix of emotions toward a given thing are destined to not accomplish much, if anything at all.

Those other kids just showed up to class because they had to. They had no intention of doing well in school. It was just time to waste before they (hopefully) graduated at some point.

I literally thought I was going to be better than them easily at one point. Little did I know, being too prideful when I had yet to see the real world for myself proved quite humbling later on.

When you think you are going to be an instant, newcomer hit in the journalism world… only to be subjected to long-term unemployment and living in your parents’ basement for an extended period of time, you wake up.

And by wake up, it was like I finally saw what reality was for the first damn time in my life with eyes wide open.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t the most determined kid in school, but at least I knew I had to get good grades. It was something I did right, for what it’s worth.

I just lacked a lot of maturity in many departments, and this ultimately would spell out disaster for me down the road.

Fast-forward to my current state of affairs.

I am still working as a cook. I have improved a lot. I have grown stronger.

Check out what I made for lunch yesterday. I posted it on Twitter because I was so proud of what I put together. Continue reading

Daily NhanSense – Day 10


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 10’s Topic: Music.


“Get good. Be better.” – Nhan Fiction

Daily NhanSense – Day 4


Daily NhanSense: Every day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 4’s Topic: Footwear.


I am a no-thrills kind of guy when it comes down to it. It’s not that I dislike fancy things, but simple stuff usually more than suffices for my personal tastes, especially when it comes to clothing.

On a regular day, I am the kind of person who wears generic sneakers with white socks, but I definitely prefer to sport sandals when the weather permits it.

Below are my favorite pair of sandals that I have had for about four/five years now.

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My mother bought me these around the time I graduated from college. They literally came from her trip to Vietnam, so there is a bit of cultural value to them. I think they fit my feet nicely even after all these years, and I like the appeal of them. Continue reading

Born to Be

“Born to be” by ナノ (nano.)

Translation of Lyrics (Click for Source)
OOH YEAH!!!

They bring me down
All the world is stereotypical
Playing out rules , but act another
Look now , you thought you had me by the upper hand
But I see through the cynical face you’ve covered

Four : Unleash the beast that lies inside of you
Three: Take on the fire that burns in front of you
Two: Let out the fear you feel surrounding you
One: Become the soul that you were born to be

If you lost your strategy dream that you’ve lived up until now with
Break the handle, and continue on with your ra ra-raging dreams
If you’re challenged by this life without any thrill
If you’re going to embrace these reckless emotions
Then surely you have to brace yourself
And break away from yourself

If it’s a destiny that steals everything from you
What should you go on through life believing?
Ask yourself, the way there’s nothing to lose or die for
If you fear your past scars
Are you prepared to throw even your future away?
The choice is yours to make
This is what I choose to live for

Random Kanji Knowledge: Shourai

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Random Kanji Knowledge: Kanji is a complicated means of conveying language. With literally thousands of symbols that have different readings depending on context, the layers of complexity can prove overwhelming. However, beyond the squiggly lines lies sophistication to those patient and diligent enough to learn. Kanji is really cool in this regard.
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Random Kanji Knowledge time!

Today’s kanji is 将来, which is read as shourai (show-rye).

将来 means “near future.”

将 can represent symbols for things like “general” and “leader,” but it also means “soon.”

来 is the kanji for things like “next” or “due …”

So in regards to 将来, it is often used to talk about things around the corner for you in life.

The stroke order for 将来 is shown below. Continue reading

Random Kanji Knowledge: Jouzu

Random Kanji Knowledge time!

Today’s kanji is 上手, which is ready as jouzu (joh-zoo). 上手 means “skill,” as in being good or talented at something.

上 is the symbol for “above.”

手 is the symbol for “hand.”

How I was taught to remember 上手 is that you have the “upper hand,” therefore you are skilled.

The stroke order for 上手 is shown below. Continue reading