“More often than not, the necessary ingredients are right in front of you.”
The last time I talked about seeking a recipe for life itself, I started to realize how many resources I truly had to my name.
I have a job to call my own, which means I have money coming in to take care of things. And with this money, independence has become possible. I have gradually become a lot more self-reliant in the past few years, which is a huge difference versus being a sponge at home when I was living unemployed with my parents and whatnot.
But most importantly of all, I still have the option to pursue the next stage in life. That particularly elusive stage that I have been desiring for so long now. I dream about it. I ponder about what I need to do and what I have done wrong so far.
In more ways than one, it consumes me. It eats away at me and fills me up with a ton of guilt that I have not figured it all out yet. It has become a daily challenge of fighting off the sense of “shame” or whatever you want to call it, but its influence definitely gets to me.
I just find myself cycling over and over again, as if something is causing me to loop.
I make some sort of progress. I move two steps forward, and then I get yanked right back like life itself is toying with me. As a result, I can’t help but feel stuck. I hate dragging my heels for so long when I should have already been on my way toward where I need to be.
This much is true. It is evident in how I keep going back to the same checkpoint I have already been to over and over again, as if everything just repeats and replays itself to torture me.
I had a premonition of sorts tonight. I was literally about to sit down to play video games for a few hours before I opted to write this blog post out instead. I just came to realize that I have had more than enough time to add toward what I have already started long ago.
I could either just play some games or blog. I am glad I am opting for the latter. Instead of just killing time when I feel lazy or unmotivated, I should be utilizing it. I should force myself if I really need to…
The building blocks are there. The ingredients have been laid right in front of me.
I just have not been very good about putting it all together.
An egg is just an egg, right? Well, the same egg can become a tasty and scrumptious scrambled egg when you work your magic with it.
Lots of things don’t become anything until something happens to it.
With this same logic, I can’t be anything unless I act as my own catalyst toward literally transforming myself into something much more…
It is just the nature of cooking, in general, to be 100 percent honest.